My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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