There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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