Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
