that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm having to shit out rocks
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
