Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
