nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
