We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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