He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
