Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I want her autograph on my taint
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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