he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Use "feeling words"
Yay
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
