My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I party with great urgency now.
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