I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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