i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
