Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
