I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
