had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
