No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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