end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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