i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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