I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
