Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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