so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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