so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
