Whoa Z and x make the same sound
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
