Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
