Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Randomize
