bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
