after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize