There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
