Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
