You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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