people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
