she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
