You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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