The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
