Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
