You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Operation Purity has been aborted
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
