I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
