he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
