I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
