i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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