oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
