just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You need Xanax blowdarts
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
