RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
