I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
