He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
