i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
