Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
