yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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