# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
